Why we’re desperate to get back together with the ones who hurt us?

The one thing that without hesitation can make a human being go mad is love. And the inability to receive it from the one person you love, or being manipulated, betrayed and cheated by that person is the most awful feeling there is. Except death. But at least after death – there is no remembering. And it is the memories about love who hurt the most.

Toxic relationships are the ones who hurt us the most, and the hardest ones to get out from, or over them.

A recent study in the field of human relations and psychology gives the explanation that humans, both male and female, have the tendency to engage in toxic relationship, because love, in its true form is wild, hurting, sometimes even physical, and that the “quiet love” and compromising feelings are less loving than the hurting acts we usually do when we are in love. The line between love and hate is really thin – no wonder a saying like this exists.

A recent university study asked both male and female participants, anonymously, about certain psychological traits and patterns about their love lives, with an accent to past experiences and tough love relationships. And the conclusions are the following, summed up in a few sentences:

  • you go back because your curiosity is stronger than you, even for the cost of hurting again. It’s your inner self fighting a battle it couldn’t win, because either proving wrong or right – it is on the cost of itself again. You being wrong might turn the right – but in the end is all for the wrong person
  • loneliness is literally devouring you – the study has proven that most toxic relationships get “fixed” in a really short time after breaking up, not longer than a weak. Why? Because humans are unable to adapt to the newly created environment and are very emotionally unstable in this “breaking window lap”                                                           
  • getting back with your ex is easier and more familiar than starting off with someone new – to be honest, as we grow older, we’re getting tired of meeting new people, introducing our life story and our family, getting to know them, slowly begin to become comfortable around them and so on…. that’s why getting back with your ex, even if you share a really terrible relationship, is easier than going out on that shameful first date with someone. Even if you are getting back together just for a couple f day or night stands…







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