Science has proven that couples who fight more often, feel stronger feelings about each other and care more for the future of their mutual relationship. According to this, fighting, if it is done with a good reason and for a good cause like finding mutual understandment and not hurting the other person) is a way to continue a relationship that started separating ways.
However, us humans, especially when we are nervous and tempered, tend to turn in some other creatures, and in the mist of an argument, we may lose the point just to prove us right.
Here are the best ways to end an argument and even better, to turn in the direction you want to go.
- Avoid criticism – criticizing is a thing that creates the most unpleasant feelings inside a human soul – no one is resistant to criticism, and especially no if it comes from the mouth of a close and loved person, such as a partner or a family member. It may only aggravate the situation. Instead – talk about more specific things that make you nervous instead of criticizing every single thing and making it a fact about them.
- Don’t be selfish, putting only your feelings first – only arguing when you are being upset, and when something you don’t like happens, shows a very selfish side of your personality. Think about all the situations your partner felt uncomfortable, but he didn’t make a big fuss about it, because he let that one slip by, just for you to fell more happy and comfortable with something you do. Instead, talk it out both ways.
- Don’t make your worse nightmares a reality – check and give a chance to be explained first – this is a big trust issue, and if you’re thinking something could be possibly wrong, you might want to check it first. Since, ask yourself, whether you want to give your partner the final words, or, give him a chance to do something again, but be more careful, since they would know you are on to them? When you are imagining certain possibilities of a situation – make sure to really have all the facts and proofs so you could bury your partner in the argument.
- Don’t blame your partner for everything – this is yet another version of being selfish without realizing it. Even if you are right in an argument, acting proud and blaming your partner for everything might net get you the best outcome in that argument. Instead, always keep away from the word “guilty” or “fault”. since, it has been scientifically proven that these words trigger feelings of stubbornness and wanting to get away in the person they are meant for.
- Don’t look down on the choices and abilities of your partner – if you’re making yourself superior in any situations, your partner will eventually leave you or suffer from passive aggression towards you and your relationship will never get better. Instead, always try looking for a solution together, even if you really know that your choice is better – give them a chance to talk it out and select the better option for both of you.
Remember: there is always another point of view, appreciate your partner and any other person you have an argument with and you will reach a better possibility than being stubborn and self-efficient.